
I have recently come to realize something about self-worth and after reading many posts, Articles and feedback from different people, I realized one more thing, “how important it is to share the thing I realized with the world”.
As it appears there is something really wrong about how people measure their self-worth, me being one of them not so long ago. So, I share with you the ways in which you should definitely NOT measure it :
(Disclaimer – These are just the opinions of my very opinionated head. I am not an expert so I won’t ask you to take my word for it, Just take it as something to think about.)
- People’s opinion – How many likes you get or what your colleagues, acquaintances, and complete bloody strangers have to say about you should not determine your value, especially not in your eyes.
- What you do – Your work is just an interest you chose to make a living out of, it’s not your value in life.
- Money & things you have – how much money you make or have, your cars and houses may decide your net worth to a bank but not to you, they don’t.
- How you look – you’re worth in your eyes can’t be defined by your looks or your weight, you are much more than that.
- Life events – life event’s you run into, your good or bad experiences can not define your self-worth either. Everything bad that happens to you is not a punishment.
- Your relationship with your loved ones – This is a big one. A lot of people think that there worth is defined by their relationship with their family, friends and loved ones. Their value in the eyes and lives of these people is how they measure their self-worth. Sounds fair, doesn’t it? It’s not.
- Not even your actions – someone said and I quote “I have no self, my worth is my actions” very poetic and I loved the line but I don’t agree with it.
What is left then you ask? Nothing. My point is to not measure it. Your Self-worth is not something you measure and determine. Your self-worth is your value in your own eyes, it is a direct reflection of self-love, and it has to be unconditional. I know this sounds like deferring from taking responsibility but stay with me just a little longer.
The thing is, If we reduce our self-worth with every bad comment, lost client, monetary loss, Inch gained, lost loved one, broken relationship, or every single time we make a mistake we will soon become an empty shell and most of us have felt like that at a point in our life. If we keep defining our self-worth based on any of these factors, we will soon lose all faith in ourselves, all of us! We will not be able to experience much joy or growth, and the world will be a very dark, sad place where nothing ever grows.
So here’s what I have realized, our self-worth (self-love) has to be unconditional like the love one has for his child. We punish our children, correct their actions, give them knowledge and wisdom and expect them to grow but at any point of time even when we are not happy with them, we don’t stop valuing or loving them. (Typically)
The one person you should always have with you in this life is yourself. You need to love and value yourself unconditionally like you would want to be loved by someone. Not in a selfish or pompous way but with an awareness that we are all neither better nor worse than someone, we are all doing our best with what we have and who we are.
-N
Photographer – Unknown
© Copyright 2017Opinionatedhead
August 21, 2017 at 10:41 pm
This is so true and so important. So often we compare ourselves to others and we’re never satisfied with who we are and what we have. It’s so difficult to treat yourself with kindness. A couple of days ago I was doing some bedtime yoga and I broke into tears while massaging my own feet. It’s easy to criticise and punish yourself. But self-love? What a foreign concept! But I’m learning. I’m learning to be nice to myself. I’m learning to look in the mirror and smile. I’m learning to accept what I see. I think everyone should try that. Thank you for this post!
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August 22, 2017 at 6:01 am
you are right and I think I know how difficult it can be at times. I read something in an article recently “Everything bad that happens to you is not a punishment.” I think it is important to understand this.
Thank you for stoping by. I wish you success in your journey.
Love,
N
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August 22, 2017 at 12:08 am
I love your comparison of self worth to the love of a child. I totally agree with you, It’s purely unconditional. X
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August 22, 2017 at 6:15 am
Thank you! 🙂
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August 22, 2017 at 2:54 am
Poetically precise. Thank you.
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August 22, 2017 at 6:17 am
Thank you! Have a good week.
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August 22, 2017 at 6:56 am
And you.
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August 22, 2017 at 7:15 am
Amazing piece of work👍
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August 22, 2017 at 7:35 am
Thank you! Appreciate your feed back.
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August 22, 2017 at 7:56 am
agree like totally. its kinda hard to love others if you dont love yourself. i would go as far as saying that in order to be able to love others, one must love themselves 🙂
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August 22, 2017 at 8:07 am
That’s true, When we can’t see our self worth, everything and everyone one associated to us loses it’s worth in our eyes eventually and that what we value, we constant live in fear of losing it because we can’t imagine we deserve it.
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August 22, 2017 at 8:50 am
Love Pablo’s work ❤️
What an inspiring and well thought out piece! I need to take a lead out of your blog and take this outlook on life.
Thank you x
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August 22, 2017 at 9:06 am
Thank you! 🙂
I am glad you enjoyed it and if it helps you, my purpose of writing the post will be served. All the best for your journey!
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August 22, 2017 at 9:15 am
It’s funny because if we measure our self-worth by society’s standards, I don’t think I’d have much of a sense of self-worth. Personally, I like to look at self-love and self-worth as royalty. Kings and queens are deemed royal simply by the family they were born (or married) into. That’s it. They don’t have to earn it or hustle for it. That’s how I’ve learned to accept my self-worth. I’m simply meant to love myself unconditionally just for who I am. It has nothing to do with entitlement and everything to do with being grateful to be alive. Five years ago, I didn’t even want to live so this truth has been a difficult one to accept but now it’s natural. So glad you stopped by, very nice to connect with you ❤
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August 22, 2017 at 9:34 am
It sounds like a great practice, treating yourself like royals. 🙂
Very nice to connect with you too, thank you for sharing that! I wish you all the best for your journey.
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August 22, 2017 at 4:46 pm
It’s definitely changed the way in which I view and treat myself.
Thank you, you as well ❤
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August 22, 2017 at 9:34 am
Lovely and uplifting post. I try to hold this in my heart everyday…
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August 22, 2017 at 9:37 am
That’s a very good practice, I am working in it myself. Thank you for stoping by! 🙂
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August 22, 2017 at 9:45 am
This one really made me think. The act of measuring self worth is already such a precarious thing, and with society trying to tell us what to do all the time, sadly there isn’t much room left for us to have any input. We need to change that. Lovely post xx
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August 22, 2017 at 3:17 pm
I am glad you enjoyed it. Thank you!
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August 22, 2017 at 2:33 pm
I needed this today, you have no idea. Thanks for reminding me not to focus on the irrelevant things. I love that picture of the cat by the way! Let’s all aspire to be that cat at least some of the time!
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August 22, 2017 at 3:20 pm
I am glad this was of help, your feedback makes staying up half the night and writing worth it. 🙂
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August 22, 2017 at 2:41 pm
nice one really appericiating!!
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August 22, 2017 at 3:20 pm
Thank you!
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August 22, 2017 at 2:42 pm
kindly visit my bloggg plzz!
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August 22, 2017 at 3:20 pm
sure!
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August 22, 2017 at 3:31 pm
So, I did visit your blog, so far I can’t see any options to like or comment on your post. Guessing you are just getting started, the post looks good, I wish you all the best for your blog. 🙂
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August 22, 2017 at 4:20 pm
its on the top of the blog…n thank uhhh keep supporting!!
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August 22, 2017 at 5:09 pm
Thank you for that picture of the cat apinting its selfprotrait 🙂 🙂 🙂
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August 23, 2017 at 7:59 pm
hahaha…my pleasure. I really like it too.
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August 24, 2017 at 1:19 pm
This is a touching post, and I appreciate the time it took you to write it. I don’t have any self-worth, so this one got to me a bit. It’s certainly a post I’ll return to. I need to think more deeply about the points you’ve made. Thanks for sharing ❤
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August 24, 2017 at 1:30 pm
Thank you for your kind words.
Understanding that a problem exists is the first step towards fixing it, I wish you all the best and if this post really helps you, it would make it all worth it. 🙂
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August 29, 2017 at 4:25 pm
A most honest and straightforward piece, N!! I loved its foundation; self worth is such a difficult thing for most of us to come to grips with regardless of our gender, age, culture or background. I spent decades beating myself up for perceived shortcomings – physical, mental, spiritual and emotional – until I truly was just an empty husk. I wondered why I couldn’t find a lasting relationship without understanding that until I could honestly say I loved myself no one else was going to love me, at least not in a romantic sense. Only when I finally realized I wasn’t the ugliest, dumbest, most shallow or least interesting person on the face of the earth did my feelings towards myself begin to shift. Too bad I waited over five decades to reach this point but I suppose ‘better late than never’..? It is still a struggle and so many times I find myself falling back into those ‘bad ole ways’ but at least I’m aware of when I’m doing so. I’m finally learning I don’t care what other people may think about me; what truly matters is how I feel about myself. Thanks for this amazingly succinct and well written piece..!
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August 29, 2017 at 8:31 pm
Thank you! I am so glad that you find it helpful.
Most of us have struggled to love ourselves from time to time, looking for approval and love outside to fill that void. I think I might write on this topic a little more as soon as I have a little better understanding of how can one start to work on it and what worked for me. Do share what worked for you, I could use guidance and may be in figuring out what really works, you will figure out a way of hold on to the self love you have struggled so hard to find. 🙂
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August 30, 2017 at 10:30 pm
This is really interesting
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August 31, 2017 at 10:37 am
I am glad you enjoyed it. 🙂
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September 26, 2017 at 7:11 am
Thank you for the good critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a book from our area library but I think I’ve learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such fantastic information being shared freely out there…
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October 26, 2017 at 7:49 am
It’s lightened my mind 🙂 thanks for the wise words 😉
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October 26, 2017 at 8:36 pm
I am so glad it helped you, makes all the time and thought I put in it worth it. 🙂
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