Opinionated Head

I have recently come to realize something about self-worth and after reading many posts, Articles and feedback from different people, I realized one more thing, “how important it is to share the thing I realized with the world”.

As it appears there is something really wrong about how people measure their self-worth, me being one of them not so long ago. So, I share with you the ways in which you should definitely NOT measure it :

(Disclaimer – These are just the opinions of my very opinionated head. I am not an expert so I won’t ask you to take my word for it, Just take it as something to think about.)

1. People’s opinion – How many likes you get or what your colleagues, acquaintances, and complete bloody strangers have to say about you should not determine your value, especially not in your eyes.
2. What you do – Your work is just an interest you chose to make a living out of, it’s not your value in life.
3. Money & things you have – how much money you make or have, your cars and houses may decide your net worth to a bank but not to you, they don’t.
4. How you look – you’re worth in your eyes can’t be defined by your looks or your weight, you are much more than that.
5. Life events – life event’s you run into, your good or bad experiences can not define your self-worth either. Everything bad that happens to you is not a punishment.
6. Your relationship with your loved ones – This is a big one. A lot of people think that there worth is defined by their relationship with their family, friends and loved ones. Their value in the eyes and lives of these people is how they measure their self-worth. Sounds fair, doesn’t it? It’s not.
7. Not even your actions – someone said and I quote “I have no self, my worth is my actions” very poetic and I loved the line but I don’t agree with it.

What is left then you ask? Nothing. My point is to not measure it. Your Self-worth is not something you measure and determine. Your self-worth is your value in your own eyes, it is a direct reflection of self-love, and it has to be unconditional. I know this sounds like deferring from taking responsibility but stay with me just a little longer.

The thing is, If we reduce our self-worth with every bad comment, lost client, monetary loss, Inch gained, lost loved one, broken relationship, or every single time we make a mistake we will soon become an empty shell and most of us have felt like that at a point in our life. If we keep defining our self-worth based on any of these factors, we will soon lose all faith in ourselves, all of us! We will not be able to experience much joy or growth, and the world will be a very dark, sad place where nothing ever grows.

So here’s what I have realized, our self-worth (self-love) has to be unconditional like the love one has for his child. We punish our children, correct their actions, give them knowledge and wisdom and expect them to grow but at any point of time even when we are not happy with them, we don’t stop valuing or loving them. (Typically)

The one person you should always have with you in this life is yourself. You need to love and value yourself unconditionally like you would want to be loved by someone. Not in a selfish or pompous way but with an awareness that we are all neither better nor worse than someone, we are all doing our best with what we have and who we are.

-N

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