Christmas is around the corner and Santa is making his good and bad list. I wonder how does he do that. I wonder how does he define good or bad. As a kid, I used to believe that being good means being kind and not hurting anyone mentally or physically. Then I grew up and had my things stolen, trust broken and ass grabbed by strangers and realized that sometimes you have to hurt someone to protect yourself, so I figured I would update my definition of being good “being good means being kind and not hurting anyone unless you are acting in self-defence“. I grew up further and was pushed and shoved in crowded lines outside a temple by people who were trying to go ahead and pray first. I started working and realized that you have to lie and deceive people, you have to push and shove and leave others behind to get ahead. Everyone does that and they respect you if you do it well. So basically life’s like standing in the crowd outside the temples, most people will push you to get ahead and you will have to push them back if you don’t want to be left behind or worse, get crushed. Not hurting others is not an option so you better think about not getting hurt yourself.
So, was being good a myth? Can you only be good to a selective few because to some you will have to be bad? Is that the reason that we create our small world in this huge world, we have our families, our people, our religion, our countries so we can choose who to be good to and not worry about the rest of the world getting hurt? So as long as I am good to my family and friends, it’s OK to hurt everyone else to get ahead? If I am true to my religion it’s OK to hurt those who practice their religion and thereby offend ours? As long as I am working for my country it’s OK to kill innocent people of other countries?
I find that very confusing. I am just glad I am not Santa trying to make a good and bad list. As parents, we encourage the idea of Santa so we can get kids to be good and by good we mean our definition of good, but then again we are human beings and our definition of good is often just as flawed as our dating choices. I wonder if that is true in life. Clearly when a country can’t declare marital rape as a criminal act but passes laws against watching pornography and consumption of beef, and when religious leaders encourage hatred for those with different beliefs, sexual orientation, eating or dressing habits, it’s safe to say that these are just human beings and their definition of good is often as flawed as their dating choices.
Or maybe I am looking at it all wrong, we all are. Maybe being good has nothing to do with doing good. Maybe it is only about elegance, about being easy on the eyes, if your actions and existence is easy on the eyes of those around you, you are good, if not, you are not. Or maybe there is no good or bad at all and life is only as meaningful as you force yourself into thinking it is. It’s so funny if you look at it this way with a slight sense of humor, it’s like a big practical joke that we are yet to get and guess who the joke’s on!
Tell me, how do you define good and bad or do you think it’s pointless to even try? I certainly am starting to.
-N
Daily Prompt – Elegance
Photographer Unknown
© Copyright 2017, Niharika Jaiswal
December 11, 2017 at 4:34 pm
Such a great read, and you really ask some thought-provoking questions. I appreciate your desire to understand. For me, no man or woman or child is inherently good. You bring up religion a lot, so here’s my take. We are all sinners, and we are only good through Jesus Christ’s intervention on our behalf.
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December 11, 2017 at 4:46 pm
Thank you for sharing that! I agree, we are all sinners but I am not sure about Christ’s or any god’s intervention that deletes our sins. Although I do believe in respecting other’s beliefs, after all we all need something to believe in.
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December 11, 2017 at 6:17 pm
Respect is key that is certain. While I do believe strongly in my faith, I never want to push it on to someone else. However, should you ever want to have a lively, intelligent conversation about it, please let me know. I promise I won’t try to shove anything in your face, I enjoy hearing other perspectives as well.
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December 11, 2017 at 9:40 pm
Sounds like a plan…let’s do that one of these days. 🙂
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December 11, 2017 at 11:48 pm
Awesome 🙂 whenever you’d like 👍🏻 Perhaps we could even blog about it after if we’d like 😅
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December 11, 2017 at 11:57 pm
Sounds really good to me. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 12:10 am
Can I ask, what do you believe?
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December 12, 2017 at 1:01 pm
Sure. To be honest I simply belive in kindness(not the kind that makes you nice to one and hate another but the kind that makes you understanding towards those who are diffrent from you). I think that’s all the religon and purpose we need in life.
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December 12, 2017 at 7:30 pm
Kindness is super important, there’s no getting around that and I fully agree with you that all should do their best to be kind to one another. Does that thinking fulfill you though? Do you ever question how we came to be or where we are going when we die?
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December 13, 2017 at 9:25 am
Sometimes, but just because there is a question unannswered I don’t want to settel for an answer that does not offer any proof, Much less settle for one of the multiple choices I am being offere by so many different religions…they can’t all be righ if they contradict each other. It’s confusing. 🙂
What do you think?
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December 13, 2017 at 4:08 pm
“All religions lead to the same place” is a popular quote, is it not? Well in a way, it is true, all religions do lead to the same place, except for one. I believe that Christianity (believing that Jesus lived and died and rose again to save us) is the ONLY religion that leads to God and to Heaven because that is what Jesus said. John 14:6, “Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father EXCEPT through me.” That is what I believe.
I hear what you’re saying about not settling, but for me, it doesn’t feel like settling when I do believe all the answers to be true.
What do you believe when thinking about where we came from?
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December 14, 2017 at 7:35 am
I guess I believe in evolution but if you are talking about life source.. I believe we have yet to figure out an answer that offers indisputable proof.
I was born in a Hindu family so I am Hindu by religion, I have done my bit to read about other religions too and in most of them someone has said that the way to almighty god/salvation/heaven is through me.
Hinduism is a religion based on meditation, yoga and many of it’s rituals might look silly but have a good scientific explanation and all in all it promotes a healthy and harmonious living. But the way we try to define the concept of god in every religion including Hinduism looks slightly flawed to me.
Let’s not forget that all the religious scriptures were written or at least translated by humans. I think a lot has been lost in translation.
I am still open to the idea of there being something bigger than us out there…I just don’t believe in trying to define and confine it through various religious beliefs which are competing to say ” I am true. no, I am true”.
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December 14, 2017 at 3:59 pm
I suppose if we want to talk about indisputable proof, then evolution too fails. No matter what we believe, it takes an act of faith. After all, you and I were not there at the beginning.
For me, I grew up in a Christian family and no doubt, that influenced my belief. But there are other things. There is historical evidence of events in the Bible, plus my own experiences have taught me the truth of God.
I’ve read a little about Hindu and although I do not believe in it, I completely accept that certain practices (meditation, yoga, etc.) are beneficial to the body and mind, but not the soul. It’s interesting you say that every concept of god is “slightly flawed.” I agree for the most part, except for Christ (because that is what I believe in). Can you expand on that further?
That’s a good point about any religious scriptures. One thing I particularly like about my pastor is that he has studied in Hebrew and Greek so that he can read the Bible in the original translations and while it does bring new insight, it does not change the main theme of the Bible. That is repentance and redemption through Christ.
(BTW, I’m really enjoying our conversation)
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December 23, 2017 at 6:51 pm
Hey kaylaannauthor
The thing is I respect all religions because each one of them has something great to offer, I understand that believing in something bigger out there brings a sense of calm, knowing that there is someone looking out for you is always comforting and more than that every religion teaches us love and kindness. Even Hinduism has great things to offer for the soul if you really look into it.
My problem is with that part of the religion that teaches us to be intolerant or dismissive of someone else’s beliefs and their right to practice whatever they want in their personal life even if they are not hurting someone.
If we talk about proofs there are plenty proofs to support evolution but just because I believe in evolution it does not mean that I don’t think there could be something bigger out there, just that I am not convinced with any of the explanations the religions offer so far.
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December 24, 2017 at 2:52 am
Hey! Glad you got back to me because I’m really enjoying discussing this with you. I understand a lot of your points and where you are coming from.
Unfortunately twisted religion is everywhere. In my opinion, while God does lay down rules such as no homosexuality or sex outside of marriage or idolatry and we are expected to obey them, nowhere does God tell us to hate sinners. In the Bible Jesus repeatedly surrounds himself with prostitues, Samaritan’s (different race than Jews), tax collectors (hated by Jews), etc. while God cannot condone sin, but God loves all people. Christians who practice hats are NOT Christ-like. Also, a person, such as myself may not agree with someone else’s beliefs, but as a Christian I am not cruel or mean. Tolerance doesn’t mean I have to agree with someone else it just means I need to not be disrespectful. Like I said, unfortunately too many “Christians” do not represent Christ or Christianity
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January 4, 2018 at 1:13 am
Hey! haven’t been able to blog lately (too much going on) but I am hoping to be regular again. I am enjoying this discussion very much myself.
Let me ask you this…Aren’t we all sinners, sinning in our different ways?
As much as I respect Christianity and people’s right to follow their religion, I can’t agree with any religion that would call someone a sinner based on their sexual orientation suggesting that deceiving themselves and their partner and living a life where they pretend to like things that are acceptable to others, is better.
If someone’s basic instincts drive them to hurt someone, by all means, they should practice control over themselves but other than that I don’t see a reason for me, you, society or religion telling someone what to be, what to like and who to fall in love with.
Although loving those who we don’t think are perfect or even right for that matter, seems like a good path. 🙂
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January 4, 2018 at 2:40 am
No worries, I understand a busy life!
And yes, we are all sinners. You are completely correct. I think it’s noteworthy that almost all people agree that people are inherently sinners (or have bad tendeancies) whether or not they are religious. Unfortunately it is just clear that mankind is not perfect.
So, in that same vein of thought. Christianity is not saying that just homosexual activities are sinful. I am just as much a sinner as a person practicing homosexuality, I am just as much a sinner as a person who lies, I am just as much a sinner as a person who cheats. I am sinner. We all are. It is because of that reason why we need God and specifically why we need Jesus Christ.
I can honestly say that I understand what you’re saying. I do not want to deny a homosexual person the right to a happy life, but I also cannot deny what God says. So in that way, I love homosexuals as human beings who are flawed (just as I am). God loves homosexuals just as he loves me and other sinners but he does ask for obedience. I don’t think God says that homosexuals should lie about the orientation but that they should put God first. Does that make any sense? Not that you have to agree just that I’m being clear?
Also, as I believe that God created everything, I must worship and honor him by obeying to the best of my abilities.
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January 4, 2018 at 11:36 am
But maybe men created their version of god…
Not saying that there isn’t anything bigger out there, not saying that there isn’t any God…just saying that maybe we don’t understand all that God is as well as we think we do. Maybe all the religions had some idea, got somethings right and then filled in the blanks themselves.
And maybe if there really is a fatherly figure called God as described by Christianity, his expectations of his children evolve as humanity does.
My biggest problem is that accepting one religion means rejecting all the others…and if all the other sacred religions can be wrong so could be the one I pick or was born into….All I say is its better to sacrifice religion for good of people than to sacrifice good of people for a religion.
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January 4, 2018 at 5:08 pm
I suppose the problem with people that all religions are right to some degree is that you are also saying all religions are also wrong. Which I think is closer to the truth. Only one religion can be right (they inherently contradict one another) and so eventually we have to decide what we believe or if we believe anything at all.
If God “evolved” according to humankind and human desires, I don’t think he would be much of a God. In that sense he would very much be a man made God, someone who changes based on our desires instead of being fully and entirely God who exists outside of our time and our changing culture.
You’re right, it doe mean rejecting all others and I can see how that would be intimidating. That’s why you have to really do the research yourself. Not simply looking at a general Wikipedia but really investigating them thoroughly.
But what if Christianity (or religion) really is for the good of people? Yes it might ask us to sacrifice things now but if there really is an eternal life, we gain good and happiness and safety and love for an eternity.
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January 11, 2018 at 8:23 am
I respect your sentiments and your faith I am sure is very valuable to you as are the faiths of others to them and that why I respectfully decline to believe in any.
I didn’t mean that God would change but his expectations of humans might as humans evolve.
Also, everyone believes their religion is the right one and you are free to believe it too but to try to convince someone that their’s wrong, is not ok, it’s actually the reason so many riots have happened throughout time.
If goodness, safety, and love is the reason why isn’t it enough to just practice that? why do people and religions insist on practicing it their way?
I am mostly kind, I try to be good, I try to love and love honestly, I try to understand others and not judge them for the most parts and all that that I have within me…a moral compass that I regularly try to check and upgrade for the best of myself and those around me, That’s all the god I need in the world.
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January 11, 2018 at 4:40 pm
Thank you for your respect and I hope you can tell that I respect you and your values as well.
I think that by changing expectations would still require a change on God’s part. Here’s where I’d have to disagree, there’s nothing wrong with trying to convince someone to believe as you do (especially if you think it might save them). However, there is EVERYTHING wrong with trying to force someone. I may not agree with Jehovah Witnesses but I can appreciate that what they do they do out of concern for others. Of course, if they were trying to force other to believe or there would be some consequence that is completely wrong. I think it’s okay to have an intellectual and religious argument as we are doing now as long as there is respect on both sides.
Goodness, safety, and love. If we could all practice those three things perfectly than perhaps you might be right, but we cant. No one can be 100% good or loving. That’s where God comes in.
I’m not saying that you are not a good person, from our conversation, I’d like to think that you are a very good person who is kind and respectful to another’s beliefs, but at the same time even you admit that you are “trying” to be good. I try myself, and I can admit that while I try my best to be a good person, I fail regularly. Would you say that you also fail at perfection? If so, that’s where God is necessary. It’s a messy and imperfect world which, in my mind, leads to the need for a God. Once we accept that need, it becomes a journey to discovering who is God.
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January 12, 2018 at 11:36 am
definitly, we all fail at perfection, sometimes I fail more than I would like. I understand the need of god and for that very reason I respect your’s and everybody’s version of god. I just prefer my version of a simpler god more, kindness. 🙂
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January 12, 2018 at 4:50 pm
God is good, but God is not a genie or an imaginary friend either. That is why God is good and kind, but also requires obedience.
I have enjoyed our conversation immensely ☺️☺️☺️
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January 14, 2018 at 6:20 pm
If he is 😉
I have enjoyed it greatly myself. 🙂
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December 11, 2017 at 4:47 pm
I believe in you.
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December 11, 2017 at 8:39 pm
Thank you Aryan, although I have not offered much to believe in here in this post but that still is very encouraging. 🙂
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December 11, 2017 at 6:35 pm
Really interesting read and some great points 🙂 kaylaannauthor makes a valid point. I don’t set much store by what I’m told God deems right and wrong as those rules come from priests of all denominations and depending on which denomination you choose to support then your goodness or badness can vary and you only have their word for it.Which is what you are saying (i think) If God made me in his own image then I should know, shouldn’t I? As for what I deem good or bad? If you’re not harming anyone else then you’re pretty much good. But, personally, the protection of women and children should take precedence over everything. 🙂
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December 11, 2017 at 8:33 pm
Thank you, Charlie! I really appreciate you sharing your opinion. Trying our best to not harm anyone else is the best we can do. Although this idea gets complicated when our whole system makes us feel like life is a big competition to see who runs the fastest and collects the most. We leave people behind and deprive them of things so we could get ahead and hoard the most. Someone is always harmed…directly or indirectly and apparently no one is responsible.
I wonder if we can ever change that.. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 7:31 pm
Hey there, saw my name so I’m dropping by. That is the problem with priests and pastors sometimes (especially when they interpret the Bible incorrectly or do it purposely). That’s why I’m so glad that God made the Bible available to everyone, in all languages, so we can read and understand the laws of God for ourselves.
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December 11, 2017 at 10:38 pm
I thoroughly enjoyed this entire post and your questions and perspectives feel perfectly agreeable & brilliant to me. After living through all the barriers of geography, religion, family. etc. it comes down to how we feel deep within with ourselves. How do we feel about our choices without the explanation from any religion or family? It takes that kind of awareness to know and feel the difference of experience good from bad. That awareness will not then differ from anything written or defined as ‘good’ anywhere or by anyone.
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December 11, 2017 at 11:56 pm
I guess you are right…Our best bet is our internal compass yet in a broken society good doesn’t amount to much good and then there is almost always a bad byproduct but being good should not be about the outcome anyway… Thank you For sharing that.
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December 11, 2017 at 11:58 pm
Thank you for welcoming my perspective …I poured out my thoughts as they came.
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December 12, 2017 at 12:02 am
I am really glad you did. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 8:08 pm
🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 2:03 am
That’s it, I always knew that this blogger is so good and here’s the proof. I am just blown away by the quality and wisdom of this post. I also thought that being empathetic, not doing any harm to others and helping people generally was sufficient to be good.
Your post really opens the eyes Niharika. What you have shown here is true and a bit disturbing as to how the world has gone.
Then I am reminded of a Malayalam poet who wrote (its a poor transaction that I can write, so I am summarising) “if you want to see the qualities of Christ, Krishna and Gautam Buddha all into one; go to my guru Mahatma Gandhi”
And I believe Gandhiji said ” when there’s a choice between cowardice and violence, I would advise violence”
You are absolutely right then.
And that’s makes my most valuable blogger
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December 12, 2017 at 8:04 am
Thank you Kurian. Altough being right in this case is disturbing as you mentioned… but thank you so much for you constant suport! 🙂
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December 13, 2017 at 11:29 am
You are very welcome Niharika
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December 12, 2017 at 2:53 am
Thought provoking. Good .Bad. I had to smile at your paragraph about good being good for the eyes. The Good The bad and the Ugly. Is the Ugly the Bad?. I’m just kidding really. I think good is in how we treat others. I feel that there has always been “bad” and now with such an exchange of information we hear and see more of the bad as that seems to be what grabs the headlines, the lead stories and the social media. I am looking for the good . Otherwise there is naught but despair.
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December 12, 2017 at 8:26 am
I agree with you…the media has been selling us so much bad that the bad get’s all the attention and the good goes unnoticed. As if bad is better…even the sitcoms have leads that are mostly bad and just sometimes good…bad has become better. How awful is that.
But the thought that is really disturbing is that someone good is not all good either.
P.S. It’s not about a person being easy on the eyes. It’s about what actions look nice and which don’t…as if actions don’t always have to be truly good, they just have to be easy on the eyes in our current setting, Wick sucks. No wonder this guy here wants change. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 2:14 pm
We may be in a ‘bad’ cycle at the moment. But i have to live in hope that compassion, forgiveness and love will remain and come stronger in time.
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December 12, 2017 at 3:12 pm
I am with you on that. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 10:23 am
Your reflection echoes what’s going around with good or bad in our society with intolerance and killing people in the name of religion or our hypocrisy where we are unable to protect women. We should always strive to be good and uphold values at a time where the world is doing bad things. Thought provoking, N.
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December 12, 2017 at 12:51 pm
Thank you, Vishal! I couldn’t agree with you more. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 11:43 am
Reblogged this on Sketches By Nitesh and commented:
Believe me, you shouldn’t miss this. Go over to Opinionated Head and share your thoughts.
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December 12, 2017 at 12:52 pm
Thank you Nitesh. This really means a lot. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 1:09 pm
Always.
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December 12, 2017 at 3:12 pm
🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 12:34 pm
Interesting read which definitely gets the mind ticking. I always look for the good, maybe that’s just my natural instinct I suppose. Staying positive keeps me going! 😉
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December 12, 2017 at 12:55 pm
I do my best to do that too…I feel like that’s the only thing we can do to keep our sanity…appreciate the things that are still good. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 8:24 pm
For sure ❤️
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December 12, 2017 at 3:42 pm
A very interesting post. Gave a lot of thought and tried to define what “being Good” actually is, but somehow ended up finding faults in my own arguments every time.And then I gave up on defining ‘good’.
To be good, It’s important to know what ‘good’ is. I guess we can keep trying to decide what constitutes being good by interpreting our life’s experiences.As you wrote how the definition of ‘Good’ changed for you over time.
I liked your point in the last paragraph that In general the Goodness today is defined as what is appropriate according to the society and what is easy on the eyes, which is a sad state of things.
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December 13, 2017 at 9:17 am
Thank you so much for reading and reflecting on it so deeply. It makes all the efort worth it. Reading your feedback makes me feel very contet to have put my thoughts out their. Thank you!
I know the state of things are sad but it’s only after we acknoledge a promlem and see it for what it really is that we can beging to search for a solution in the right direction. 🙂
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December 13, 2017 at 10:07 am
Indeed. The problem is worse and the solution is difficult when the majority thinks in an opposite direction. But Yeah we can only influence our inner selves and those who are around us to do things in a Good way.
I’d like to be positive about this as they say “Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t–you’re right”
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December 13, 2017 at 3:12 pm
I really hope they are right when the say that. 🙂
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December 12, 2017 at 7:23 pm
Every human being has a conscience a tool to define right or wrong, a true spirit. But when tampered with for whatever reason, actions and reasoning becomes twisted. I wouldn’t say it doesn’t hurt sometimes to be good but my definition of good is my conscience, my inner man. So regardless of the downsides of good. it is still a road take.
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December 13, 2017 at 9:20 am
I agree… that’s what I have been practicing and I really hope for both our sakes and the sake of everyone who believes in good that we are right.
Thank you for sharing that. 🙂
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December 13, 2017 at 2:39 pm
Very thought-provoking and you share much of the same thoughts as I – I would love to chat about it all with you! I used to believe very strongly in a Christian God version of events but as the years have gone on I have found myself thinking there is ‘good’ and ‘bad’ in all faith systems including atheism. I think the whole idea is a bad one (excusing the choice of words!) – we are all human and sometimes people hurt us and sometimes they heal us. That’s about as far as we can go.
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December 13, 2017 at 3:22 pm
Thank you for sharing that, as simple as it sounds in a way it’s truely profound… to think that we are all we have.
I would love to chat with you, anytime you want. 🙂
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December 14, 2017 at 12:19 pm
Sure – email me and we can sort out a preferred way! Would love to discuss 🙂
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December 23, 2017 at 10:29 pm
I think we will have to schedule that in the new year, and I am already looking forward to it. 🙂
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December 24, 2017 at 7:21 am
Any time 😊
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December 13, 2017 at 3:15 pm
It is a thought-provoking question. I define good as that which conforms to God’s will and thereby achieves moral satisfaction.
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December 13, 2017 at 3:29 pm
Thank you for sharing your thought on this…although the idea of acting with god’s will is unsettling for me on many levels, for example I don’t understand which god, and how come every god has their his/her different path. But I respect your beliefs and if they helps you be kind to your fellow human beings then that’s it. 🙂
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January 6, 2018 at 4:22 am
Definitely food for thought👍
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January 6, 2018 at 2:42 pm
I am glad you think so. 🙂
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February 12, 2018 at 9:44 am
Dear friend,
…when the drop thinks it is the doer – then all oposites, all duality starts in the shadow of a reflection, a broken coin with two sides – so we all live in a great illusion, maya, delusion – the Ocean alone knows where and when its waves go…
Once I wrote:
The shadow thinks it is moving, but it is the light that makes it moving…
Thanks for sharing, dear friend.
All the best
Didi
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February 12, 2018 at 8:24 pm
That is a very good answer to this whole post. I really appreciate it.
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February 13, 2018 at 4:25 am
Thank you my friend – and all the best to you 🙂
Didi
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February 13, 2018 at 11:05 am
To you too Didi 🙂
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