I pull her back,
I push her away,
She surfaces slowly 
When I am looking away.

I push her up
Then drag her down
leave her hurting 
On the ground.

I neglect her, forget her
And the promises I made.
Then embrace her one day,
Tell her I am here today
And I am never giving up.

I just can’t carry her some days,
Some days I just need to run away.

I guess ours is that toxic relationship
Magazines warn us about,
Tell us that we deserve better
And maybe we do 
But it’s not like we can leave each other
How do you leave yourself and find another?

Maybe, we can change,
I don’t know why don’t we.
Why don’t we give ourselves 
What we insist we deserve?

We insist on being seen as we are,
Yet we only look at other’s perceptions of us
When we look in the mirror. 

I think I love her,
I want all the good things for her,
I guess I just want someone else 
To give ’em to her.
Sometimes I think,
I must be the worst she ever had,
But then I remember I am her,

And she is wonderful.



Daily Prompt – insist

Photographer Unknown
Poetry © Copyright 2017, Niharika Jaiswal